If you aren't already aware there have been a string of murders plaguing the gay community of NYC over the last few weeks. It started at the end of January with two deaths in Queens. Two gay men were strangled to death; one in there apartment in Jackson Heights and the other in a hotel in Elmhurst. The most recent murder comes this week with a man in Manhattan found tied up with a bag over his head. City Councilman Daniel Drumm and City Councilwoman Christine Quinn are urging the gay community to use caution when meeting people, specifically strangers on online dating sites. I urge the same.
To be quite frank, I am surprised something like this hasn't happened sooner.
When I was young, and I am talking young, like late teen years I was reckless. We didn't have Grindr or any of the other apps that suck the battery out of our phones. I would meet people on the street. It would start with the gay smirk. You walk by, acknowledge that you are both gay and looking and continue on your path. You then turn around, you see him doing the same...continue walking...do it again until you awkwardly meet in the middle. From there I would usually wind up in there house. Stupid. I did have a plan which was to text my best friend the address that I was going to and say "If you don't hear from me in an hour, call the cops" Not the best plan but the best one a horny 17 year old me could come up with. There were many times I was put in an uncomfortable position where I didn't feel safe and wanted to get out of there. I remember being 17 and this guy wanted me to do things sexually that I just wasn't comfortable with; he called me fat, ugly and worthless. He continued to yell at me and started getting violent. He never hit me but I could have easily seen it getting there. I ran out of the apartment with half of my clothes on. I was and am lucky.
I will not lie. I am a slave to the device. While I don't hook up that often from Scruff (my app of choice) I do enjoy using it. I like putting my sexuality out there. I like meeting new people from the comfort of wherever I am. I like being able to say whatever I want with no consequences. I like how easy it is. I like that when I am bored it provides a lot of entertainment. I haven't found many cons until this story broke. When you really think about it, these applications are a huge risk. I am not passing judgement, trust me I have done it...just today I was on it like I was getting paid. I just don't know that right now for me it is worth it anymore. Sure it is up to us to be responsible and say "lets meet in public" or "lets talk on the phone" whatever. We all know what it comes down to is convenience. These sites are the Grub Hub of sex. We can have a guy at our door in minutes...but just like that it can be our last minutes.
This is a serious matter that I really want everyone to think about. We all get cocky (no pun intended) and think it wont happen to me, but you truly never know. So I really urge everyone to be careful and use their best judgement right now, especially when drinking. With Valentine's Day here I can only imagine how many horned up guys will be "looking" I strongly urge everyone to be overly cautious right now and think twice before they make snap decisions, not just from these apps but even when taking someone home from the bar.
It breaks my heart and makes me sick to think this is happening. My heart goes out to the families of the loved ones lost. Please spread the word and be safe everyone.
-Scotty
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